Christmas Things I Do Not Understand

This is the post where you're all gonna hate me!

Okay, okay, maybe not hate. But there are some things about Christmas that people hold sacred that I just do not understand.

I'm not saying these things are wrong or bad. In fact, they look sort of fun. All I'm saying is that being a Member of the Tribe, I grew up without Christmas, in a very Jewish town, and didn't ever learn what an Easter basket was until I went to college. (The Easter Bunny brings it, apparently!) So it's not that these are bad things, they're just things I never participated in growing up. It's more like you're all in on some joke that I don't get. And while in my adulthood I've tried to counteract my anti-Christmas upbringing with holiday overload in December (see: Chrismukkah party; love of holiday themed anything;etc.), these things below are things that I'm still left scratching my head over.


Take, for example, this beloved movie:

To be fair, I've never seen this movie, so I'm aware this is not a fair post. However, our local WB affiliate would run commercials for it what seemed like every other minute when I was growing up. They ran them so frequently that I can still narrate them. From what I can gather, this kid has some annoying relatives. Why do I want to watch a movie about them? Then he gets a bunny suit. Then he gets his tongue stuck to a pole.Also there is a leg lamp that people freak out over? And yet, people go nuts for this movie.

Then, there's Elf.

I've actually seen this one, and Will Ferrel is pretty funny in it, even after 2 hours of the same joke of him running around in an elf suit. But it immediately loses points in my book because it prominently features Zooey Deschanel singing a twee song and then Santa's sleigh takes off because of her Christmas spirit and joyful melodies? I'm not sure I get it. Am I a Grinch? Maybe I'm a Grinch.

Another thing we never did growing up was send Christmas cards, or holiday cards. Then I got to college and realized the entire Western hemisphere sends them.

Source

This shouldn't really fall under the category of "things I do not understand," because I think it's a really nice tradition. However, I never did anything like it growing up so I don't send them today. Am I doing something wrong?  If they are supposed to be a snapshot of your family life this past year, am I supposed to send a card to show people what I've been doing? This concerns me, because if I'm being honest people would be receiving a card of me, in sweatpants, eating Puffins on my couch in solitude.

So, there you go. Confessions of a Jew in Christmas season.

Go on, hate on me in the comments. Merry Christmas!

Party Tips by Little B

So, our Chrismukkah party was a great success. You haven't heard anything about it yet because my old bones needed an extra day to recover. Let's just say that I broke my three drink rule on more than once occasion this weekend. Little B, you're not what you used to be.

(Of course, if "what you used to be" was a person who willingly used Sutter Home Rose in your games of beer pong, that might not be such a bad thing.)

Anyway, without further ado: How to Hold a Successful Chrismukkah Party.

1. If you are feeding a crowd, don't kill yourself. Buy the boxed mix. I swear, it'll be okay.

        

2. Provide a festive "tablescape," in the words of Sandra Lee. If you're like me, the thought of Sandra Lee makes you gag and you just call it decorating. Dreidels = gambling and chocolate, always a fun time!

3. Welcome any and all thematic treats your guests may bring. These were our friend Matt's creation - cream cheese, sour cream, lox, onion and capers on rye bread, or Jewish breakfast spread. Delicious!

4. Provide fried food.

5. Let folks go nuts with the tree decorations.

6. Gaudy ornaments can be fun. Just go with it. (This is SK's newest and most favorite ornament. I'm not exaggerating when I say its the size of my face.)

7. Make sure to include Hannukah so it doesn't feel left out.Also make sure that your Costco box of oatmeal is in the background so the Quaker Oats guy doesn't feel left out either.

8. Make sure your neighbors don't forget about Hannukah either!

9. Unless these are your neighbors, who seriously know how to do Christmas lights right.

Happy Chrismukkah, every one of us!

Friday Five: Chrismukkah Party!

Tonight's the night - the Chrismukkah party!


When SK and I started dating, we started a tradition of eating latkes the same night as we decorated his tree (I like to say it's to appease my grandmother,who is rolling over in her grave at the idea of me decorating a Christmas tree.)

Last year, we invited a couple of Jewish friends of ours to celebrate with us, and they were so delighted with the idea of trimming a tree that we invited them back this year. Soon word had spread to some more of my fellow MOTs (that's Members of the Tribe) and they wanted to partake in all the forbidden Christmas pleasures as well. And thus, the Chrismukkah party was born!

I'll be back with a full recap on Monday, but for now here's the menu, Fridy Five-Style!

1. Mulled Cider with rum. A holiday party necessity!

2. Mulled wine. Too much mulling? No such thing, I say.

3. Latkes. Of course. Normally I like to make them from scratch, but to feed a crowd tonight I'm going to cheat and use boxed mix. Sorry, Mom. *source*

4. Candy Cane Joe-Joes from Trader Joes. The pinnacle of all holiday treats!

5. The Tree. Okay, it's not a menu item, but it's an integral part of the festivities!  (This is last year's tree. We've decided to name this year's tree Piney the Elder. #HistoryNerdPuns)

Merry Chrismukkah, Everyone!

Pastrami, Amendments, and Spatchcocks, Oh My

Is it just me, or is anyone else having trouble believing that we're barreling into the holiday season and there's only two more days til I'm bus-bound for Long Island? Perhaps it's just been the busy nature of this fall (the previously alluded to hectic time at work, Hurricane Sandy, the 2012 elections), but it just doesn't feel like it's nearly Christmastime yet. I, for one, am still writing 'October' on everything and refusing to pull out my warm jacket. It won't be winter until I say so, damnit.

As much as I try to deny it, this weekend certainly had the feel of a busy holiday season. Friday night we took it easy and decided to try out the new Jewish-deli inspired restaurant in Dupont Circle. Since Jewish deli food is hard to come by in this area (and it's one of my favorite cuisines, naturally), I'd been eagerly awaiting this place for some time now.

 The verdict?

Latkes with Apple Preserve and Creme Fraiche

As my grandmother would say, "Eh, better than a sharp stick in the eye." However, it wasn't my favorite. The cocktails, pickles and latkes we ordered were all excellent. But the pastrami sandwiches we both ordered tasted more like ham than pastrami.

Yes. You read that right. Ham.

The pastrami wannabe

Yes, I know it wasn't actually ham. And I don't keep kosher and normally enjoy ham very much. But when I order a pastrami sandwich in a Jewish deli (albeit on delicious homemade rye bread with house-crafted mustard), it's a little disconcerting to be tasting what appears to be honey-baked and spiral cut. I'll go back to try their other offerings, but I'd advise them to re-think their pastrami brine recipe.

Saturday morning I ran errands, then joined some friends for another long-anticipated event:

This government major was highly impressed. My only quibble was that I wish I had read up on the 13th Amendment and the history surrounding it before going to the movie - I learned so much that I wish I had a little knowledge base going into the theater. That being said, that's my fault and not the movie's -- The makeup, acting, directing and writing were all spot-on. I'll definitely be going to see this one again.

After the movie I roasted some chicken for our dinner and tried out a new cooking technique that has very quickly become my new favorite word: SPATCHCOCK.

Sorry, this looks kind of gross. But I wanted you to see how to do it for yourself.

SPATCHCOCKING (I can't stop!) is when you cut out the backbone of the bird you intend to roast, allowing you to flatten it out on your roasting pan and get a greater ratio of crispy skin to roasted meat. (Plus, if you're into making your own chicken stock, you can save the backbone in your freezer until you're ready to make stock.) I roasted the chicken with some baby potatoes, asparagus and mushrooms, which let the veggies cook in the chicken juices.

Finished product

I served it alongside roasted carrots and parsnips, which I'd never tried before but which were surprisingly delicious. We invited our friends over at the last minute (they live on the floor below me, which makes last-minute dinner invitations possible), and served everything with a few generous helpings of red wine.

Perhaps too generous, since I woke up Sunday reminding myself that opening a third bottle of wine is never, ever a good idea. After a revitalizing breakfast sandwich and trip to the Dupont farmer's market, I met up with some friends for a manicure and a pre-Thanksgiving spin class.

Favorite coffee mug and my very first shellac manicure

Some of you may remember that I've written about my awful habit of picking off my manicure -- The solution, I've discovered, is a shellac manicure. I've never had one before, so I'm pretty amazed with it so far. Will not chip!

What have you been up to on your final weekend before the holiday season? Are you picky about your pastrami? Have you ever gotten a shellac manicure? Are you planning on spatchcocking any birds this week? Leave a comment and let me know!

L'Shanah Tovah!

Wishing you all a happy and sweet new year!

xoxoxo,

b

The Dangers of Kugel

I made a noodle kugel last night.

I am still thinking about it at 2:26 pm, a full 19 hours later. I am counting the hours until I can go home and eat some more kugel. This cannot be healthy.

Nor can eating it straight from the pan, hastily trying to smooth the edges before your roommate gets home so no one can judge you for the sheer volume of what you ate, be healthy.

Noodle kugel, for those of you not in the know, is a traditionally Jewish sweet casserole made with egg noodles. My grandmother always made hers with canned fruit, which I never liked, but you can also use dried fruit or fruit nectar. Picture below: This is not a picture of the kugel I made, because then I would be forced to show you how much of it I ate and I don't want my readers to judge me.

*image from Google*

Up until last year, I didn't think I liked kugel all that much, having primarily been exposed to the canned fruit version of my youth. But then I attended a Shabbat dinner at a friend's house and was gifted the recipe of the best. Kugel. I have ever had. Sorry Grandma.

Recipe below -- it actually comes from allrecipes.com, but I made a few changes, namely replacing the cornflake/butter topping with Vanilla Almond Special K and a dash of cinnamon. Enjoy!

Apricot Noodle Kugel

Ingredients

• 1 (8 ounce) package wide egg noodles
• 1/4 cup butter, softened
• 1 (3 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 3 eggs, beaten
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup apricot nectar
• 1 cup milk
• 1/2 cup golden raisins (optional)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x9 inch baking pan.
2. Bring a large saucepan of lightly salted water to a boil. Stir in egg noodles, and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain.
3. In a medium bowl, thoroughly mix egg noodles with 1/4 cup butter, cream cheese, eggs, 1/2 cup sugar, and vanilla. Stir in apricot nectar and milk. Mix in raisins. Transfer to the prepared baking pan.
4. In a separate medium bowl, mix cornflake crumbs, 1/2 cup butter, 1/4 cup sugar, remaining vanilla, and cinnamon. Spread over the egg noodle mixture.
5. Bake 45 minutes in the preheated oven, until bubbly and lightly browned.