This is the post where you're all gonna hate me!
Okay, okay, maybe not hate. But there are some things about Christmas that people hold sacred that I just do not understand.
I'm not saying these things are wrong or bad. In fact, they look sort of fun. All I'm saying is that being a Member of the Tribe, I grew up without Christmas, in a very Jewish town, and didn't ever learn what an Easter basket was until I went to college. (The Easter Bunny brings it, apparently!) So it's not that these are bad things, they're just things I never participated in growing up. It's more like you're all in on some joke that I don't get. And while in my adulthood I've tried to counteract my anti-Christmas upbringing with holiday overload in December (see: Chrismukkah party; love of holiday themed anything;etc.), these things below are things that I'm still left scratching my head over.
Take, for example, this beloved movie:
To be fair, I've never seen this movie, so I'm aware this is not a fair post. However, our local WB affiliate would run commercials for it what seemed like every other minute when I was growing up. They ran them so frequently that I can still narrate them. From what I can gather, this kid has some annoying relatives. Why do I want to watch a movie about them? Then he gets a bunny suit. Then he gets his tongue stuck to a pole.Also there is a leg lamp that people freak out over? And yet, people go nuts for this movie.
Then, there's Elf.
I've actually seen this one, and Will Ferrel is pretty funny in it, even after 2 hours of the same joke of him running around in an elf suit. But it immediately loses points in my book because it prominently features Zooey Deschanel singing a twee song and then Santa's sleigh takes off because of her Christmas spirit and joyful melodies? I'm not sure I get it. Am I a Grinch? Maybe I'm a Grinch.
Another thing we never did growing up was send Christmas cards, or holiday cards. Then I got to college and realized the entire Western hemisphere sends them.
This shouldn't really fall under the category of "things I do not understand," because I think it's a really nice tradition. However, I never did anything like it growing up so I don't send them today. Am I doing something wrong? If they are supposed to be a snapshot of your family life this past year, am I supposed to send a card to show people what I've been doing? This concerns me, because if I'm being honest people would be receiving a card of me, in sweatpants, eating Puffins on my couch in solitude.
So, there you go. Confessions of a Jew in Christmas season.
Go on, hate on me in the comments. Merry Christmas!
10 comments:
I've seen A Christmas Story once, as an adult, and I hate it. It's mean spirited and stupid.
I don't like A Christmas Story at all...I feel tacky and trashy when I watch it. And I realize that sounds ridiculous.
I don't send Christmas cards!
I've never seen A Christmas Story. Or Elf. But then I relate most to the Grinch, so...
Be thankful for the photo cards, they aren't nearly as bad as the letters breaking down your third cousin's family's entire year, month by month, for each person.
Merry Christmas?!?
I don't understand any of these things either.
However, my post today is the ying to your yang. haha!
YOU ARE ALL WRONG!
1. A Christmas Story is one of the best movies of all time. Also, I'd like to correct the record, it wasn't Ralphie who stuck his tongue to the pole, it was Flick. After a triple dog dare what was he supposed to do?!?!?!
2. Elf is hilarious. The problem isn't the movie. It's you. Your sense of humor is obviously awful and needs serious reform.
3. Christmas cards are a way to see what other families, who you probably don't see that much any more, are up to. It's WAY nicer than simply expecting fools to read your numerous facebook updates about what type of pretzel you ate last Tuesday. How else would you know that Tommy made the varsity Ice Hockey team, or Susan won her tennis match?? FACT: People that hate Christmas/Holiday cards are un-American.
It's time for you to stop being a hater and start being a joiner. STOP BEING MAD AND START BEING RAD! Join in an be filled with holiday spirit and joy!!
Walrus25 is right. While it's sad that your parents and community shielded you from many of the great American traditions, the fact remains you're only 35 years old! You have tons of time to join in on the fun!
Try watching these other lovely holiday films to allow you to catch up with the rest of America:
It's a Wonderful Life
Eight Crazy Nights
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Home Alone
Miracle on 34th Street
The Hebrew Hammer
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Bad Santa
A muppet Christmas Carol
Meet Me In St. Louis
A nightmare before Christmas
Shalom Sesame: Chanukah Special
The Snowman
White Christmas
How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Christmas Vacation
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Fred Claus
Jingle All The Way
The Santa Clause
I am fairly sure our friend littleb is not 35 my friend. That girlz still in her 20's!!
Is there really an "A Nightmare Before Christmas" and a "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Also, I was raised Southern Baptist, we went to church every Sunday and Wed. night, every Christmas eve, etc... and I own over 200 movies (curses of working at Blockbuster during college) and off of Anonymous' "must see" list I've only seen the animated Grinch, THE Nightmare Before Christmas, and part of It's a Wonderful Life before I fell into a boredom coma.
Soo.... yeah.
Oddly, I do own A Christmas Story and Elf, as my husband likes A Christmas Story and our Christmas gift at Blockbuster one year was Elf. But I've never cared to watch A Christmas Story and Elf is still in the plastic wrapping, because Will Ferrell "comedies" are the exact opposite to me.
I do think it's hilarious that this post is turning into such a hot topic, though- Christmas Controversy!!
I dont like a lot of the Christmas 'classics' either!
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